Now

Dear Reader,

Just to tell you what I'm up to now:

I'm mostly working at DHL Parcel, in the backoffice. (±40 hours a week.)

Besides that I dance and see my girlfriend in the evenings or on the weekends.

I currently have a project where I'm building a vertical garden in my home for myself. Automatic watering and lighting included.

Last updated Sat 26 Nov. 2016

Greetings,

Roman Korver

Rising Early

 "Whether I retire to bed early or late, I rise with the sun." - Thomas Jefferson 

He told of a fifty-year period in which the sun had never caught him in bed; he rose as soon as he could read the hands of the clock kept directly opposite his bed. Following this remarkable man's example, my current challenge is rising early , wake up whenever I set my alarm. This I need to be able to do regardless of what day it is, or if I have anything 'serious' to do that day.

I picked this challenge because I think it's the best possible habit I can implement right now. I will gain loads of time I otherwise will be sleeping away. I think waking up early consistently will make me want to go to bed earlier automatically. Rising early is a so-called keystone habit for me. It rearranges the day, and spills over to other habits.

In order to complete and succeed in changing a habit you need laser-like focus. Light when bundled and focused can cut through steel but when it's too diffused, it doesn't work.

That's why one should only try to change one habit at the time. When I started self-developing myself in 2010 I got all excited about all the things that would be beneficial to implement into my life. Rising early, the pomodoro technique, alternative sleeping cycles, cold shower challenges, and many more things I read about back then.

The problem with having so many things to work on, is that you don't have enough willpower to be able to do it all at once. Changing a habit needs a conscious act of willpower in the beginning to be able to set the new habit in motion. For me, with the 'rising early' challenge, that was: actually taking out time to practice getting out of bed 4 times in a row.  

The trick is conditioning, as beautifully portrayed in this post. You want to bypass your 'fogginess' and general incapability to think straight in the early morning. You do this  with conditioning to stand up right away when the alarm goes off, thus not allowing yourself to even think, but rather: react automatically! Quite a revolutionary concept for me as well. I previously thought waking up early was some strong feat of willpower, and in a way it is, but not as you might think. 

In the morning you won't always be able to muster up the necessary amount of willpower to reason yourself out of bed and conquer the warm bed sheets. So train yourself into this wonderful habit, through simulating waking up a several times. When you're still thinking about it, as Steve Pavlina says, you have to practice some more.

Over the past few days I have managed to wake up as soon as I heard my alarm. I was used to waking up around 11:00 naturally, and going to bed around 2:00. I've been tuning it down day by day: first 9:00, then 7:30 and this morning 6:30.  I think I'd like to wake up around 5:00 in the end, for optimal productivity and fulfillment. The drawback is that it doesn't account for going out and having an irregular/party night.

The goal is to be able to implement the rising early habit into my day. I think the day is a very good level to work on. You can have big dreams and great plans, but doing something good on a daily basis can have a much bigger impact over the years. All years are made up of days. Out of good daily habits, success flows naturally. 

Sustainable change is attained by taking small but consistent steps. I'ts like planting a seed and watering it consistently and looking after it regularly with loving attention.
This approach, I've noticed, works way better to accomplish projects than the rushing and hurrying through what you're doing. This principle can be applied to the even the most mundane sort of things like doing the dishes.

My 5 fundamental habits that put my day in the right direction are:

1. Rising early

2. Meditation

3. Using the 43-folder system

4. Intermittent fasting

5. Gratitude

When school starts again and the pressure is on again, I'm not sure if they'll stand the test, but we'll see.

Sources: www.stevepavlina.com, The power of habit - Chris Duhigg, The Power of habit - Jack D. Hodge, 

Failure and Succes

Failure and Success, two seemingly opposed concepts which are paradoxically intertwined.
"People who have failed the most are the most successful now". You might have seen this quote: "An expert is someone who made every possible mistake in his field". It's like two sides of the same coin. You can even see people speeding up their failure rate in order to be more successful.
Failure and success are two quite abstract concepts and they are not important.  What they both have in common is action. Failure and Succes are the result of taking action. Some people are even more greatful for failure since you can learn from it. You could see failure and succes as 'the judgement of action' viewed from different perspectives.
Failure for one person can mean succes for the other.
If you want success, if you want something in life, you've got to hustle. You have to take action. Set a goal for yourself, following the SMART code (here below)

Pursue something. Anything. In doing lies great power. Doing sets things in motion.

Why Meditate?

Do you feel like you want to boost your clarity, concentration and overall resistance to adverse events in your life? Are you feeling down often and you don't seem to have any control over your thoughts and feelings? Or if are you looking for a good activity to add to your morning routine, then please read on...

There are numerous reasons why meditation is a good idea. It's good for about anything you can think of; it boosts concentration, clarity, it helps to calm you down or not get overwhelmed by everyday events and emotions, it's good for your immune system. Before, we thought the brain had a fixed amount of neurons that could only diminish, going from birth to death. Now science has discovered that you create new neurons all the time. The brain changes itself, when used differently. But let us not forget the best reason of all. We don't want to meditate because we want to isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. We don't want to meditate JUST because it's good for our brains.  Meditation allows you, through more centeredness, and more awareness of your own thoughts, to better interact with the world. By meditating in the morning, we create a buffer in our minds that allows us to catch ourselves when we get irritated, angry or when we're not in the 'now'.

I'll be the first to say  that meditating is not an easy habit to get into. A habit usually has a 'reward' at the end. For example; you feel like eating a snack, you grab for a piece of chocolate. Walking to the kitchen and grabbing the chocolate is the habit, the sugar high is the reward for your body. Meditation, at first, doesn't feel so rewarding and that may be the reason it's so hard to get into. Meditation isn't instantly gratifying. 

Like Anthony Robbins says, you have to be clear on your "why's". Why am I meditating?
It takes a considerable amount of willpower to overcome the resistance to meditate, so why am I doing it? You do not always have the willpower necessary to sit yourself down and do it. (this goes for a lot of things) So you want to make a habit out of it, and you have to create some kind of reward in your mind. For example: I feel grounded, calm, centered and on-purpose when I meditate and I feel my day isn't as accomplished without it. Also I feel like I'm making progress. 

Meditation is often misunderstood. I used to think it's some esoteric activity only monks can do, or that you need special training. The contrary is true; Meditation can be practiced by everyone and the instructions are remarkably easy. 

When I got into self-development in 2010, I started coming across lots of articles about meditation. The more I read, the more I wanted to find out about it first hand.
Decided, I set out to try and DO IT. I tried to make it into a habit and it did work for some time,  but every time I got thrown off the horse.

The key is to have good reasons to meditate. For me it was a negative "why", or reason. I went into a funk for a couple of weeks because of some troubles of the heart that pulled me strongly off-balance. I couldn't seem to have peace of mind for weeks on end.
Having gone through some rough times emotionally I was slowly climbing out of the pit, but still feeling miserable.
I had pictures and thoughts and desperate questions like "why did  - fill in a negative event -  happen? " (Catch yourself when you ask yourself questions like these)
I didn't understand and my mind was going berserk.

My mind, my mind! I had to do something about that mind of mine, I had to get it under control again. Because that's the mistake we often make, according to Eckart Tolle - we think we're in control of our mind, whereas the mind is usually in control of us. It's like a servant who has forgotten it's place and is ordering around the master. In a moment of clarity I saw that meditation could be the answer to my then very clouded mind.

I started meditating every morning for half an hour. This wasn't the first time I tried it of course. Also, I didn't do it without help;
I have these tapes that put my brain in the right wavelength, generally called "binaural beats", and it also helps to structure my meditation session in nice 30-minute chunks.

What is your reason?

How to:

1. Sit down - with dignity - however you sit, straighten your spine, so you stay alert.

2. Focus your attention on the flow of air in and out of your nose - especially on your nostrils, where you can feel the air flowing in and out. You want to focus, not on thoughts, but on actual physical sensations - in this case the nostrils.

3. When you notice you're thinking about something you let it go and focus back on your breathing/nostrils.

That's it! It's so simple. The hard part is not doing it, it's deciding to do it.

Tips: You can sit in lotus, seiza, on a chair or however you like, but I like to keep my spine straight to stay alert and focused.
Don't get irritated by the incoming thoughts, floating by like clouds (a clouded mind) accept that it's normal. Celebrate the fact that you're aware of your thoughts - you're actually making progress each time you catch yourself. 
You can also put an alarm, although I prefer to listen to my meditation track.

You can start out by doing short sessions and when you can easily do those you  make the sessions longer.
You can count to ten while breathing, counting both when you inhale and exhale. It helps to keep your attention at your airflow.
Another trick is to use guided meditation tapes or binaural beats to stimulate the brain, block out ambient noise and to know when you're done, without worrying about alarms going off or not.

What you'll start to notice is that by observing the thoughts pop up in your head, that in fact there are two minds. The so-called observing mind and the thinking mind.

When you meditate, you create a gap between the two, identifying with the observing mind and in so doing observing the thinking mind. This will allow you to be more aware of what is actually going through you head all day.

With this powerful tool, one of the cornerstones of self-improvement, you can start intercepting thoughts that make you feel bad, and putting in thoughts that reinforce you. (not during meditation but with the gained awareness you can do this throughout your day).
Instead of letting your thoughts get out of hand and have them repeat themselves in your head, have negative feelings occupy your head etc, you can now detach yourself from what you're thinking. You are not your brain and the thoughts that emerge from it. You're the observer now.

.....

Honesty (radical)

This is going to be a very short post on a way of communicating that really 'rings true' to me.
I often see people have quirks; they are obsessed with monitoring time, spelling, etc.

believe it often is a reaction. It has to do with an experience in the past that people develop these quirks, these obsessive compulsive disorders.

My obsessive quirk has to do with honesty. I lied to someone that was very dear to me. It turned out so bad that I decided I would hold honesty as something sacred from that day forth.

When I tell people I really care about speaking the truth or when I bring it up for discussion, people often tell me the following: "you can't speak the truth all the time, because you would hurt people's feelings, or you wouldn't be accepted, it just wouldn't work in this society". This may be true for some people, but not for me.
I will not live my life lying, speaking half truths, hide the truth behind humor, doublespeak etc.
besides...

Three things cannot be hidden for long:
the sun, the moon and the truth 
- the Buddha

Speaking the truth - your truth -  that's what the article Truthspeaking is all about.
Enjoy and let me know what you think.

Strengthening Beliefs

Why? Because there are several things I've come to believe recently. First off: that which you often tell yourself will become a belief. That's how the human brain works, that's why propaganda, commercials and self-talk can be so devastating.

Second is that experience is the best teacher. Usus est magister optimus in latin, something I have engraved in my laptop.
Why? Because only when you experience a thing yourself you fully understand what it is like, and you can learn from it. The knowledge won't come out of a book but is rooted deeply in yourself which forms character, self-knowledge etc.  You know what they say: "Everything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

There's this quote I really like about cherishing the tough moments in life:

"The tiny seed knew that in order to grow it needed to be dropped in dirt, covered in darkness and struggle to reach the light" 

A quote I've come to live by is the the main premise of the book: Zen and the Art of Happiness: which instills upon the reader the following belief

"Everything that happens to you is the best thing that can happen to you."
(in the sense that of all the possibilities, the place and situation you are in right now are the ultimate place for  you to be in order for you to grow. It's your challenge.)

These quotes, once believed have the potential to change your view of the events that occur in your life, and therefore change your life, because when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change! 
I have found that life is determined so much by how you look at things. Perception accounts for so much (unnecessary) suffering.
Therefore it is not necessary that these beliefs be right or correct. Most important is that the things you believe, support you, that they push you up instead of pull you down. I'm talking about self-talk, the thoughts that go through your mind incessantly.

Unconditional love

“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.” -Osho

Here's what WikiHow has to say about love and 'How to" love.

Share the good stuff

You're probably wondering what my blog is all about. From now on it's going to be about you and me. Not just me anymore. I'll offer information that is helpful for you and hopefully - enjoyable to read.

First off I'd like to cite some websites from which I draw my ideas:

- High Existence (by Jordan Lejuwaan)
- The Feel-Good Lifestyle (by Phil Drolet)

I just recently discovered:
Scot H Young
Steve Pavlina
Inner Gladiator (by Max Nachamkin)
Postmasculine.com (by Mark Manson)
Kyle Cease's 'Transformational' Blog
Find your Greatness Daily - Jack Peterson

These websites are chock-full of incredibly interesting and life-changing information and articles that'll blow your mind.


Choose Greatness!

How it all started; My path to self-improvement

Have you ever read Self-Improvement books?

If you're reading this, you probably have, but many people I know haven't. I used to despise the ignorance, of people who aren't even aware that they're alive.

They seem to move with the push and pull of their desires, unaware and unconscious of the inner chatter of their minds. The unwillingness to improve and be your best self, dream and strive... is so alien to me.

It all began with a book on developing Self-Discipline called Self-Discipline in 10 days. In order to make sure I'd read it all, I printed it out but ironically I didn't finish it in 10 consecutive days, nor in 20 for that matter.
The main thing I achieved with it was becoming more aware of myself and my thoughts and actions. It was the start for a long period of about 3 years in which I devoured many self-development books.

It made me feel good about myself and it gave me the idea that I could change myself for the better, in a way becoming superhuman and rising above the human tendencies and habits that made up my life.
Most of the books gave me a short-lived boost and enthusiasm. Nevertheless the real change that was going to change my life forever always seemed around the corner.

I have read numerous books on productivity, working out, nutrition, zen, sex, and i've watched and listened to many tapes and video's, so many even that I am becoming a pro on the subject. I might even consider starting to teach myself!

That being said, I am far from being an exemplary person as of yet. I want to embody wat I teach and teach only what I embody (completely) (paraphrased from Way of the Peaceful Warrior, which I just finished) Right now, especially after having read Way of the Peaceful Warrior, I feel like having a mentor to inspire me and help me reach my goals.

I've always been quite happy so that was never really an issue.
I believe, although self-improvement books are not the solution per se, that they give that sense of growth and investment in yourself.

It points in the right direction but if you don't take steps in that direction the only thing you will have done is read a signpost.

Books I can recommend:

- Way of the Peaceful Warrior - Dan Millman
- The 4h body - Tim Ferris
- Do the work - Steven Pressfield
- The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
- Zen and the art of Happiness

What about the next generation?

Oftentimes, when my mind wanders to subjects of self-development,  I think of how to best raise the next generation.
I want to teach my (future) kids to become well-rounded people. To be able to attain that goal, I first need to develop myself to be able to provide (copiously) for them. And before I can pretend to teach them anything I have to do "practice what I preach."

I can, of course make a succession of movies they can watch, or tell them to meditate with me. And above all: Give the best example a father can possibly give. I can create an environment for them, conducive to learn to be creative. Before all of that can happen, I first need to have money to fund these dreams, because in this current system it's a necessity (unless free technology will help us out.)

Along with money, I want to have good, tailored information at their disposal. In the form of books but also in the form of training(?). You go the direction of the information you take in.

Information alone isn't wisdom, it's the way it's applied. Not only that, it's acquired through experience, introspection and meditation.

So.. Where can I start?
- Meditate daily
- Focus on creating wealth
- Keep my goals fresh and alive.